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Supreme Being
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 29/04/2012 20:13:09
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I am sorry to bother you with this, but would like your opinion. Our kids are in an excellent school performing well in sport. However, the head of sport has the approach to break the kids down emotionally with some directly prior to the game or during half-time with some threat that they will lose their position in the team if they do not perform. Parents are told that they have proven their success and if anybody disagrees they are welcome to take their kids and leave. This is quite often done with stronger kids who have a passion for the sport and who often have achieved higher levels in various sports. This is often taken up to such levels that the kids become negative towards the sport. I do not believe this to be right at any level, but definitely not for kids younger that 13 yrs. The even sadder part is that it takes about three years for new teachers (some fresh from college) with an excellent approach to change their ways to suit as the person has a proven record that anybody going against him gets taken out (very bad for a young teacher) and that his parents do not give him any grieve (because then their kids are simply taken out).
About three weeks ago it once again happened to my son directly before he had to open their team’s bowling in an important match (even though he has been bowling consistently at second best). I managed to boost him and he did bowl well. The teacher now uses this to confirm his ways. Requesting to know what was said before the game I was taken out very aggressively in front of parents and other teachers that that is his way to motivate his players and if I do not agree I am welcome to take my child and leave. I was also told that this is the standard method used by all sport psychologists, first breaking the child’s self esteem down before building it??? My child lives for sport, has provincial colors in gymnastics, national colors in judo (won in 2008), played first team hockey (C), first team cricket, first team rugby, first team squash etc. He has seen the effort required as well as heart ache associated with getting to the top. He has proven over and over again that he has developed BMT. He has developed a strong character and gives more than his best for supportive coaches. I know he will get through this OK through the support from his family. Yet he sat in tears during the lunch break due to the threat, completely at a loss as to what the coach actually wants from him. Yes, the threat maybe gets short term results, but I believe it to have far larger negative consequences in the long run, both on the direct emotional well being as well as their attitude towards sport.
I would sincerely appreciate your feedback as to your view, because after the incident the children were told that he knows parent do not always agree with him, but they are “nothing” and he has a history of proven success. Unfortunately he does, but then he is also the coach at a school where everybody in the first team (and even beyond) gets private coaching in order to be at the level of their mates when challenging during the try outs. My son was fortunate to have supportive parents who could change the negative impact into a lesson of life. As my son will be leaving the end of the year I could simply bear it out. However, I do not feel this to be good practise and would hate to see children be destroyed emotionally through wrong practises. Could you please also add your exact background (to prove that I did consult a noteworthy source) and maybe supply extracts from a few other resources. I did take it up with the council member for sport, but he was not prepared to do anything as it could influence his son’s opportunity for head boy and first team. The second council member’s son was appointed head boy for sport and defaulted as captain of both the rugby and cricket first teams. No resistance to the teacher to be expected from them.
What is even more heart breaking in the number of kids and parents leaving the school with a negative attitude due to the way they and their children have been treated in sport.
I know you get a lot of similar letters, but your feedback will be much appreciated.
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 16:36:42
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I can;t possibly use the words I am thinking here.
If moving the child from school really is not feasible, then i think the ONLY solution is to remove him from school sport - and find a club(s) nearby that will cater far better for him.
I'd also be reporting him for child abuse - because that is exactly what it is.
didds
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 21/05/2012 01:08:18
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| Back in the 1970s when I was a lad at school and corporal punishment (read: caning) was still accepted, I had a language teacher who was nothing short of a sadist. He would cane boys every single class for doing no more than dropping a pencil on the ground. Needless to say, you did not want to forget to do your homework, you would surely get "6 of the best". This teacher's behaviour was well known by the school and parents, but he got results, producing the top student marks in final exams. Finally he attacked (there is no other word for it) a friend of mine who's father just happened to be a High Court judge. Next day, some stern words were uttered behind closed doors, and from that moment on that teacher was banned from ever administering any form of physical punishment. I agree with didds, this head coach's behaviour is psychologically abusive. Perhaps a threat of formal legal action be pursued against the school if it does not shut down or remove the abuser?
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 09:21:59
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| I would not only condemn the actions of this teacher but have to question the whole "pastoral care" approach of a school which tolerates such an approach. If a teacher did that to a child of mine I might be forced to reflect their approach on them to see how they appreciated it. Needless to say if it was my child they would be removed from the school the next day and they (and I) would not be going quietly. Suggest as a leaving present maybe get him a copy of "Kes".
spike
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Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 10/04/2012 09:22:09
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| Report it 100%. How many times do we see (voluntary) coaches act this way and find it unacceptable. Why take it from a employee of the school. To the head's office I would go.
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 12:48:24
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This is really poor but, to be perfectly honest, we cannot help.
It would prove useless to provide details of our qualifications/expertise no matter at what level; this teacher makes up their own rules and will certainly not pay any attention at all.
For instance...
DanC (05/10/2011)
I was also told that this is the standard method used by all sport psychologists, first breaking the child’s self esteem down before building it???
Where is the evidence? What are the references?
I can assure you, this is not true... but the teacher will not care!
This teacher is a bully and I have to agree with the previous posts that their behaviour is tantamount to abuse. However, what concerns me most is the corrupt environment surrounding this situation. If true, this is possibly the worse case I have ever come across. Not only does the teacher abuse the children but all the responsible adults surrounding this sad case are allowing it to happen. I understand that the children can find it difficult to respond but they look up to adults and expect them to look after them and keep them safe. This is not happening. I really do not know with whom I have the most disdain!!!
Sorry, I am so angry, I need to stop writing!
- ***********************************************************
- Biomechanist/Performance Analyst
- Level 5 Soft Tissue Therapist
- Certified Personal Trainer: Advanced Gym Instructor/Level 3 Fitness Assessor
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 09/10/2011 16:12:01
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There are two possibilities here
1. You are misrepresenting the situation
2. You are describing an example of entrenched, institutional emotional abuse by a school teacher
If the latter then you should document the examples that you mention below, collate and notify the school governors that you will be making a formal complaint to the council's safeguarding children unit. This will allow the school a chance to act against the teacher and will at least prompt an internal investigation. Ensure that your documentation is accurate, balanced and includes witnesses to corroborate your claims. If you are sure that the teacher uses mental abuse techniques against children pursue your complaint doggedly and confidently.
I disagree with taking the teacher on directly, the man is an archetypal bully who should be removed from post.
Leve1 RFU, Level 2 RFU etc, etc
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 09:21:59
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| Dan, Does the person who wrote the letter to you come onto this forum to see the responses or are you going to reply directly? It would seem this type of teacher whilst rare remains out there. Thankfully I have nothing but praise for my lads' teachers and I won't wish to find myself having to be in the position of the parent who wrote to you. Cheers spike
spike
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Supreme Being
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 29/04/2012 20:13:09
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I have signposted the forum to the original poster.
Awaiting their response.
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