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Junior Member
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 07/02/2011 17:52:00
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Hello All - it's been a while, so Happy Xmas, New Year, etc., etc.!!
Have a problem: there is a certain adult who has been endlessly touting a paricular player to anyone who will stand still long enough. All my coaches & parents have all had an ear-full about how this player "is like Richie McCaw" and "is better than X at rummaging".
The main problem is the adult in question is the Union President and the player is his nephew!
We are selecting a National Team shortly, but this player is really not good enough to displace anyone else. Any suggestions on how to let the President down easily without getting black-balled by his infulence?
W
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 04/10/2011 23:00:21
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| Why do you have to let him down at all? He's not the player or a parent. For a national selection I'm assuming the player is of an age that it should be him that is spoken to about why his isn't selected and given areas that he needs to improve in if he wants to be selected in the future. However, I'm sure the Pres will want a word and then it's letting him know it was a selection team not an individual that made the decision. Inform him to speak to his nephew if he wants the reasons. Is there a Pres deputy or someone else in authority that you could confide in and seek support if needed? Difficult one though..... as his judgement is obviously clouded by the familiy connection, but yours is an objective view of the team and it's component parts. Good luck.....
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Junior Member
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Last Login: 07/02/2011 17:52:00
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Cheers Jenks - thanks for the support.
The player is only @ Under-12, so the Pres. is acting on his behalf. Kid's actual dad is never about, but I think maybe that's my avenue: go to the actual parents & let them down first. Clean up the mess with the Pres after!
We'll see...
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Supreme Being
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 02/02/2012 14:47:41
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| I'm afraid it is problem faced by many and someone will be worse off from the conversation (Pareto!). I would suggest this: 1. Steel yourself for someone about to disagree with you. 2. Say what you need to say clearly and concisely. 3. Be positive first and then say what you want to say. 4. Don't be drawn into long justifications. 5. Be prepared for some questions. Be empathetic. 6. Finish with "thank you". A possible speech (not quite for this circumstance but close enough) Hi Bill, can I have a word please. I know that your son is hoping to be selected for the rep side this weekend. Unfortunately, after very careful consideration, we have decided not to put him forward. You can understand this was a very difficult decision, but I am sure you will respect that we think, at this time, he is not ready to go forward. When I have a moment I will talk to him to explain the reasons why. I would appreciate your support in this matter because he has a bright future with us. "But he is our best player!" I understand you share his disappointment, but we felt that he was not ready. "He deserves a chance" I think you would agree lots of boys would deserve a chance. He is only 11, so there will be plenty of opportunties in the future. "He will give up" I would be sorry to hear this. I will continue to encourage him.
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Supreme Being
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Last Login: 29/01/2012 16:10:53
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Having the specific rationale re: things needs to work on to earn that position might help lessen the blow, delivered positively and constructively.
On the subject, does anyone do written player assessments? I had my first experience writing them this past year - 3 strengths and 1-3 'work ons' for each of Mental, Physical, Technical, and Tactical. A lot of work, but incredibly rewarding for both me and the athletes. These are the sort of things, written with honesty and created using compiled evidence (video if possible; if not, by weekly notes), that can not only show athletes what they need to do next year, but also their parents.
That might be going a bit far, given I'm talking about U20s and university players in my example, but even just three over-all positives, and 1-3 'work ons' mid-way through the season, and at the end of the season can provide reinforcement for their good work and provide focus for the future. (Sort of like school report cards)
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 07/02/2011 17:52:00
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Dear All:
Thanks very much for all the advice. We made the final cuts, with each league coach selecting the group of marginals, and - by virtue of the majority - the boy didn't make it.
I took the lead in explaining that, the boy was outside the starters, therefore making him a sub. The requirements for a Travelling Tour substitute is the ability to play in a minimum of 2/3 positions, which this boy could not. On top of that, he lacks a fulll compliment of required skills, eg. he is unable to pass (quite literally), shovelling the ball forward in fact; lacks the strength to throw in for Lineouts.
But I was careful to point out that - yes - he does do several things well (pick & goes are his specialty) and that with further encouragement & attention to his skill deficits, he will certainly make an impact at the next level.
Although the messenger (me) was summarily killed, this was still an unacceptable argument for the parent & uncle. There were 18 other players not selected as well - some who have been on prior teams every year. None of them reacted the way these 2 did, sending angry e-mails & refusing to accept the decision after multiple phone calls. They insist that the boy was cheated, that the selection criteria are flawed, that there was a bias towards the boy and...the topper, how there was a lack of respect paid to the Uncle (Union Chairman) for his service to the sport. As in, that was supposed to be a criteria for selection. Staggering in it's absurdity!
Sorry - my turn to vent a bit 
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Supreme Being
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 23:17:02
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"lack of respect paid to the Uncle (Union Chairman) for his service to the sport."
then said Uncle clearly does not understand the sport that he has allegedly so well served.
I know that doesn't help you, but it may help you feel understood.
didds
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Supreme Being
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Last Login: 04/10/2011 23:00:21
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| I echo what didds has said......... and I would also suggest that a 12 year old who can't yet catch and give a pass, the most basic of skills, has a significant weakness to overcome before hoping for future selection. Well done BTW, it sounds like you suffered some considerable flack for the decision.....
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Supreme Being
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Last Login: 06/01/2012 17:22:29
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| Wookie, Personally I totally agree with both didds & Jenks. All to often this is happenings throughout the game and it does take a brave man to deliver the news in the appropiate manner, so well done from me. I really hope that the Chairman/President has time to reflect on his actions/words directed towards yourself and the coaches involved in the selection process. And becomes a better person for reflecting and apologising for his reaction. Again, well done and all the best....
Darren Club Coaching CoordinatorHavant RFC07425168836kinghamscott@aol.comwww.havantrfc.co.uk
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